summer really isnt good for the mind

you know why it isnt? those of us who dont have anything to do think too much. because of the fact that when im not with friends i feel like im the only person on the planet. that or the only person thats alone on the planet...either or. it just sucks. i would love more than anything to at least find someone...but no. i just pissed off someone out there and they mustve put a hex on me at some point. if they did they succeeded. i dont know how to explain it really. its just frustrating as hell because as much as i look for someone to love again i just cant really. im hung up on someone else and i cant/dont really want to break away from that. ugh...i just dont know

another broken heart

ok heres what has been happening. erica and i discussed the possibility of us getting back together later on down the line when were out on our own. that made me happy because she said shed like that. great news huh? of course it is. so ok, then katelynn(the drama producer of half my friends) says she likes me and wants to go out with me. i think about this and i asked her out on may 5th. we had a great week. i know i did at least. so i go to the lake with some friends friday since we didnt have school, and i find this shell...a really pretty one. i spend a good 3 hours cleaning it up and shining it. i plan to give that to her on monday and maybe get a kiss out of it for sheer romanticness. long story short...she kinda ignores me all day. then i get a note from a friend later saying that she wants to break up. ... okay, fuck you too. i guess she didnt know how much better getting a hug from her made my day. ugh. theres another little part of my soul gone. now i really dont know where to look. i want someone to love but...unfortunately there isnt anyone available. im used to it but i hate it. but i made a promise to myself not to date girls like her again. i need a girl that has that sorta dark depressing side too. y'know, something in common. if there were only more girls like madison...now there is an awesome chick. but anyways. id rather not dwell on this much longer.
-later

Its In The Genes

http://www.counterpunch.org Take a peek at my dads article first off...

Im really impressed with that. I now see where my writing style comes from. That crazy old man that survived growing up, smoking....more smoking, a war, raising me, smoking, motorcyle accidents...etc.etc. and that shaped his view on the world and how he describes it. and its odd to me that ive experienced so much less and i see resemblances to my own writing. really strange stuff. ive been called a Gonzo Journalist, The True Doctor Of Journalism....things like that....and as much as i respect your support...you must salute the true Gonzo Journalist...My Father...Tony Swindell.