clever names are hard to come by

oh boy, SATURDAY. how terrible today was. absolutely abysmal. i thought i was going to hang out with someone today, how wrong i was. i was made promises all day long about getting callled back by someone, and ive heard nothing from them so far. i feel blown off hardcore. i dont need to worry about her because were not technically together and whatever she does is none of my business. but i truly did want to see her today... perhaps she was having too much fun to involve me with it...thats understandable. im boring anyways...no reason for me to attend a party or anything. i was having a conversation with somoene last night, erica to be exact, about how life is complicated. if you diligent readers can remember so far back as to my 2nd post on here... i poured my heart out into a post relating my feelings toward the relationship we were in. i stated that the distance was our only issue. which it was, i could go so far as to even put it in the present tense as "is" i suppose. the discussion was held on that subject as well a while back. and ive been having some strange internal conflicts the past week or so. but...i dont want to get into that here. but truly, my mind is in a state of disarray. beth seems to put things into perspective i guess. every moment we spend physically together as a couple really is something to marvel at. like fireworks in slow motion... or some kind of long, slow symphony...i dont really know. all that i know is is that when shes in my arms the problems of the world melt away in the cool flames of our feelings toward one another.
thats all kids
--goodnight for now