another broken heart

ok heres what has been happening. erica and i discussed the possibility of us getting back together later on down the line when were out on our own. that made me happy because she said shed like that. great news huh? of course it is. so ok, then katelynn(the drama producer of half my friends) says she likes me and wants to go out with me. i think about this and i asked her out on may 5th. we had a great week. i know i did at least. so i go to the lake with some friends friday since we didnt have school, and i find this shell...a really pretty one. i spend a good 3 hours cleaning it up and shining it. i plan to give that to her on monday and maybe get a kiss out of it for sheer romanticness. long story short...she kinda ignores me all day. then i get a note from a friend later saying that she wants to break up. ... okay, fuck you too. i guess she didnt know how much better getting a hug from her made my day. ugh. theres another little part of my soul gone. now i really dont know where to look. i want someone to love but...unfortunately there isnt anyone available. im used to it but i hate it. but i made a promise to myself not to date girls like her again. i need a girl that has that sorta dark depressing side too. y'know, something in common. if there were only more girls like madison...now there is an awesome chick. but anyways. id rather not dwell on this much longer.
-later